My First Album!!!

I released my first album!

Surprise. It’s already out. There was no build-up. No launch. One day, it just hit me. It’s time. I had most of the songs recorded and mixed, so I added a few new ones and BOOM! It’s there, up for you to listen to.

It was a big heart call to do this.

Because, as you might know, I’ve been working on an album since November. And… I’m still working on it. The perfectionist took over, and a few inspirations came to refine the project, so “I’m a Jaded Fairy Who Still Believes in Fairytales” is still in the works.

That’s the thing… how do you know what’s the right thing to focus on?

Some people just know. And, no, I’m not ADHD or ADD. In fact, I have always been very good at balancing many irons without getting burned and having all of the steel come out glistening and sharp.

I’ve allowed myself the grace of launching half-baked projects this year, trying some things. This Feminine Life on YouTube being one of them. A video blog where I was trying to find my voice again. God, what do I have to say?

And, you know, half-baked isn’t bad. It’s the name of one of the most popular Ben and Jerry’s flavors. Allowing this messy exploration gave me permission to let go of perfection and a whole lot of patterns to face head on.

I volunteered at a community garden two weeks ago, and the person there encouraged me to take lots of breaks. “We’re not task masters here.” There was so much relief in this slow path. I have pushed my body and mind to breaking point many times.

Soft… I want softness and stillness and presence and imperfection.

Did you know?

It’s impossible to break glass with the human voice. (I quickly had to learn the answer to this question as an opera singer.) Well… not entirely, but two very specific conditions must be met. First, the glass must be perfect, meaning there are no imperfections in the structure. All of the molecules must be in a perfect pattern, so if you put it under a microscope, you would see no skip in the pattern. This makes the glass able to resonate to a frequency. The other condition is that the frequency sung must also be done so with perfection and intensity, meaning to sing the exact hz that resonates with the glass, not a microtone above or below. When these two conditions of perfection are met, the glass will shatter.

In perfection, there is fragility.

There’s beauty in this fragility, but I’m more interested in stability and connection. Messiness is a core component of love.

Women Holding Women is an album of love, love for all women and their super human ability to do magnanimous, powerful, and magical things in this world.

The thing is, when we’re in survival, it’s harder. Not that we don’t still do incredible things (all the more the miracle), but our capacity for our fullest potential is diminished.

When women feel supported, stable, and safe, they succeed. Not only that, a safe environment of love allows that success to become something revolutionary.

You see, women think differently. Or rather, the feel. They feel and have an inner knowing that is profound. Women think of things like gift economies, giving abundantly from the heart. They think of rest and play. They have unique solutions to problems because they can sense the bigger picture. The true intuition of a woman is not connected to corporate ladders and bottom lines, it is connected to humanity, nature, creativity, and nourishment.

When we give women the ability to thrive, these are the foundations they create upon.

I’ve been in survival, constantly in fight, flight, freeze, or fawn. This state kept me hyper vigilant even as part of me longed for a different way, a softer, more wholehearted approach.

It wasn’t until I realized that I didn’t feel safe and started to cultivate that safety for myself, asking for help and reframing my life circumstances, that I started to feel like I could create something truly powerful.

Like an album of incredible songs to awaken and support the hearts of women.

It’s not been easy. I’ve had to constantly reorient myself, pulling my attention back to the good, the nurturing, the creative, the wholehearted, and to this core knowing that I am those things. I am not the patterns and circumstances that made me fearful. I am a flourishing fucking flower.

I am a flourishing fucking flower.

Like a vision to do the same for other women.

It’s not just an album; it’s a labor of love, holding women.

I used to hold people for a living, regulating their nervous systems. That’s what touch therapy is for: nervous system regulation. With a regulated nervous system, the brain comes online with inspiration and calmness. Black and white thinking fades, and possibilities emerge.

Women Holding Women is about holding women, not just physically, but also energetically and emotionally. When women are held up in their magic, held in their pain and their joy, and held through the transition from fear to flourishing, they thrive. When one woman thrives, all women thrive.

I have a vision beyond this album. It is to take women’s circles to women in those states of fight, flight, and freeze to give them a community to turn to, resources and spaces to regulate their body and emerge into a different state of being, one that is more true to a woman’s nature.

I want to take these circles to women’s shelters and prisons as well as provide community circles with scholarships and resources for women of all backgrounds to attend with different facilitators leading holistic practices, all with the common theme of women holding women.

It’s the main song of this album.

I’m hosting a free online singing circle on April 23 to bring women together. I want us to sing in circle and then I will share the vision and ask for those who can to support me as well as connect me with others who can help bring this vision to life.

I’m looking for board members, donors, facilitators, coordinators, space holders, and women who can do things like give other women rides to circles. There are so many ways to contribute.

Why?

That’s been a big question. I had to deeply contemplate, but the answer is simple.

Because it’s my nature. It’s simply what I want to do, and I feel in love when I’m doing it. There’s no other reason. I love women. I love bringing women together to sing and to lift up one another. I love the idea that we can have an entire village of women holding women up to go forth and thrive.

I want to see women succeed and thrive. I want a whole world of women singing these songs and feeling the message and living the message, simply because I feel that’s a world I want to live in.

Women! If you would like to join me on April 23 and be in the know about this project, join my WhatsApp group, where I’ll send the details. https://chat.whatsapp.com/FNut9IS3JohAiCRXxjsAWy

Everyone! Go listen to the album on Spotify or wherever else you stream and enjoy the power of these songs.

And! If you want to be the first to fund this project, I have a GoFundMe. You can donate there or reach out to me directly. I also would appreciate introductions to people who could support and be involved in the project.

I released an album, and it’s so much more. Most certainly not half-baked, and just as delicious.