Bring Back the Mother

I wrote this a few days after I learned that the powers that be at the Chalice Well in Glastonbury removed a statue from her home in the Chalice Well garden. She has since been restored to her rightful place. Nevertheless, this experience still speaks to a larger removal of both the mother and the child in the hearts of us all.

The statue is called "Mother and Child by Ganesh"

The statement by the Chalice Well Board of Trustees is that this statue by Ganesh is a replica of one that was done by Eric Gill, a known serial sexual abuser and therefor had no place in the well...

What the board did not anticipate was that there are many, like myself, who have had profound experiences with this statue. They dishonor the wisdom of the mother and the power of unconditional love.

My experience during my pilgrimage was one that transcended this wound, both in myself and collectively. I had come to fear men and believe there was no possibility of the kind of sacred union I wanted, one that might bring about the family I now believe in. There were so many miracles, but as this is about the statue, let me share my experience of going to the well where it used to reside.

The day I entered the Chalice Well for the first time, the garden was decorated in full red and white having just closed the holiday Beltane, a pagan fertility holiday. The whole garden overflowed with fertile energy, and for me in particular, it spoke to me of the relationship between mother and child.

Glastonbury called me there, but I had no idea for what purpose. I've been on this spiritual journey of discovering my own heart for a while now and the first song I wrote in Bali connected me to the spirit of the mother, "Mother I see you."

When I was Mormon, Heavenly Mother was a figure in our doctrine, but she was steeped in mystery. I ached to know her. I clung to the few tendrils of who she might be, but she was not spoken about in truth. She was shadowed, removed from the light and removed as a divine power to honor and be guided by.

In writing this song, I ached for her absence. I ached over having not known her. I spent the year starting to know her again. I became deeply knowing of the goddess in many forms through my dear friend and Magdalene teacher Amia Rose. Our work together helped me to finally know her. She does exist.

It wasn't only knowing her, it was knowing the mother in me and being awakened to the truth, that I desire to be a mother and having the promise of a son come to me in many visions and soft voices.

That day in the well, he was all I could think about. Every experience reflected the divinity of Heavenly Mother, the power of the womb, and the bond between mother and child.

I witnessed a mother bathe and anoint her son with the waters from the well. He was so incredibly sweet and pure. He offered her his toy car to be cleansed. So pure and true to his own affections and trust of his mother, knowing she held some wisdom and magic for him. I thanked them for I saw my own future unfolding before me.

I wrote a song for my son, "I Am Ready." I am ready to receive him.

The father Yew tree told me, "Everything is coming to you, my child."

An image of the grounded mother with breasts that had gaping holes for offerings and flowers connected me to my womb.

The Maypole, wrapped in white and red promised fertility.

The lion's head spring reminded me, "You are his queen. Do not fear the night may come still he is here. In his arms you will be held for a lion roars inside."

The Chalice Well healed me with sacred blue flame, beginning with my womb and spiraling, shooting, and swirling through all of my body.

And this statue of mother and child was the most powerful representation of the closeness of mother to son that I was feeling that day, the son I had spoken to and had promised would come to me, the son I've so longed for and hoped that all of this journeying would bring me closer to him. I was not ready for him, nor even believing in him for so long and I cried. I cried because I no longer doubted. I believe with every fiber of my being in what is to come. So much that I have mad so many sacrifices since then, offerings, choices, and I continue to. This image is a constant reminder that I keep on my phone to remind me what I know and what I've felt.
And now, this statue has been removed. The reasons seem righteous, but the mother knows the child's worth before their birth and it never deteriorate or is defiled by any act. This pure love is void in our world, much like the truth of the mother, of her divinity and wisdom that we all need so desperately in our world right now.

In your heart, I encourage you, bring her back. Give her a sacred space in a garden where her pure love can transform your heart beyond blame, shame, and devaluing of any creation based on the actions of its creator, and in this case the actions of the creator of a creation that inspired this creation. Must we be so blind to pure, unadulterated love? Must we continue to fail to understand that love is not conditional and it can come through ANY being.

Regardless of who did what to whom, every single one of us is capable of love. Every single one of us has loving moments and NO action can erase love. No mistake can wash away love. It exists, always. It continues to exist. It cannot stop loving even when we continue to look only upon the acts made in fear and mistaken minds.

Love is the wheat and fear is the tares. They are so intermingled that we often only see tares and cannot find the wheat among the plentiful harvest. But it is there. It is always there and always will be there if we will not cut it out with all of our fear.

I implore you, seek her wisdom. Devote yourself to worshiping her and being guided by her light of pure, unconditional love. All the earth is made new when mother rules the world. She lets the love grow. She lets the joy move. She lets the heart sing. And we know she will heal us.

The statue has a new home in the garden, and the mother would be standing near the child saying, watching them lovingly fumble through the mess they have made... "You're getting there, child."

I would still like to see the statue returned to its rightful place in the garden.

I implore you not to allow the politics of the ego defame an image that holds so much sacred power to those who have come to the Well, regardless of what it might be associated with. It is the wheat and you have mixed it in with the tares. The mother knows that these squabbles are trivial and she graciously watches her children get in fights and throw fits that ultimately are insignificant temper tantrums. She will forgive this slight, but I ask that we not be so petty, that we all not allow ourselves to be stuck in the fear of fault finding and judgment and conditional love. Learn from her wisdom.

Bring her back.

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