I Will Sing

I want to sing! I want to sing and write music and perform my music performed. I want to jam and I want to chant and I want to dance in circles with women as I hear their voices lifted up. I want to inspire.

And I have.

And,

I can’t.

The harsh reality has set in that I have many patterns in my body that are leading me to destruction if I continue. It’s a season to step away from the thing I love most so I can do the thing I love most.

So, what then.

Today, I’m organizing myself to look for a voiceless job. It’s a funny phrase because I won’t be voiceless. In fact, I very much want to use my creative “voice” in whatever comes my way. I am, as I hope is being proved by the fact that you’re still reading, a skilled writer.

I love to write. I love the feel of the keys beneath my fingers as I type. I love to let the words flow effortlessly from my fingers, even as I make small typos and use the backspace key to revise what I’ve written.

I love it so much, that in the middle or organizing myself, deciding how to build my resume, portfolio, decoding my many skills into something that I can tangibly and succinctly demonstrate to prospective employers, I stopped. I stopped to write.

So, I will sing. I will sing with words typed on screens sent far and wide.

And, I will listen. This is a time of deep listening. I taught a voice lesson today and I listened, observed, and typed. Very little voice was used on my end. My student had to find their voice and learn to listen to themself and feel. I was a guide on their vocal journey.

There are many ways I can still be of service in this world. I can give written voice and I can give service in helping others find their voice. All while honoring and loving my own voice in her season of silence.

I’m excited for how this will unfold, and the many ways I will find myself using my other talents. Now begins a new chapter of connecting with those who’s voice I can love into being.

I am far from finished singing. I am far from voiceless. This is simply the next chapter I’m writing. The quiet chapter. Quietly listening, observing, and giving visual voice to whatever comes to me.